It’s Okay Not To Have Everything Figured Out

"Not all those who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings

It was one of those gloomy winter evenings. I was randomly scrolling through YouTube and a video, Taylor Hughes's "ENJOY THE RIDE" Full Comedy Magic Show Special, popped up on my feed. Usually, I do not watch magic shows on YouTube but to chill out after a stressful work day, I clicked on the video even without knowing who Taylor Hughes was. It was the best thing I watched that week.

The magic tricks were mind-blowing and I also giggled a few times. But what made the video worth watching was the message the audience left with. Through his magic and immersive storytelling, Taylor encouraged people to embrace life's journey without feeling pressured to have all the answers and have everything figured out. Hughes suggests that not knowing everything is not a weakness, but a natural part of human experience. By leaving room for wonder and remaining open to new experiences, individuals can grow and adapt more effectively.

I was not expecting comedy, magic, and storytelling to come together to give such a beautiful message.

At the age of 12, now-renowned American actor Johnny Depp, started playing in bands, setting the stage for his lifelong passion for music. His early musical pursuits led him to drop out of high school at 16 to chase his rock star dreams. In 1983, Depp married Lori Anne Allison, a makeup artist. Through Allison's connection to Nicolas Cage, Depp was encouraged to try acting. This led to his film debut in "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984), marking the beginning of his transition from musician to actor. Acting was not his original goal, but it became his path to stardom.

Good things often happen from unexpected opportunities rather than rigidly following predefined objectives. Serendipity can play a significant role in achieving greatness.

The invention of vacuum tubes played a crucial role in the development of early computers, marking the beginning of the first generation of computing. But vacuum tubes, originally invented to improve radio transmission, were not created with computers in mind. The path from vacuum tubes to computers was not linear or predictable. If someone 5,000 years ago had the objective of building a computer, they wouldn't have thought to invent vacuum tubes first.

Most of the time, stepping stones are more important than final destinations.

Objectives and expectations are deeply ingrained in our culture, influencing everything from education and careers to personal goals and aspirations. Society leads us to believe that if you achieve A by age X then you are considered successful or if you have B amount in your bank account by age Y you are rich and the list goes on. These are just arbitrary timelines. But the reality is no one has everything planned or figured out - even the people you admire. Everyone is stumbling upon something along the way. Some are just willing to stumble enough that they find their way into something magical.

John Gardner, an American novelist, wrote an essay titled “Personal Renewal”. Here are some key insights:

John Gardner's philosophy emphasizes that it's perfectly acceptable and even beneficial to not have everything figured out in life. He views life as an "endless unfolding" and a continuous process of self-discovery. This perspective encourages embracing uncertainty and ongoing growth rather than seeking a fixed endpoint of complete understanding.

Gardner argues that life is "an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our potentialities and life situations in which we find ourselves". This suggests that our journey of self-discovery is shaped by our experiences and challenges, making it impossible to have everything predetermined or figured out in advance.

Furthermore, Gardner highlights the danger of becoming too rigid or settled in our ways as we age. Gardner's philosophy suggests that not having everything figured out is not only okay but is a sign of a vibrant, self-renewing individual who remains open to growth, learning, and new possibilities throughout life.

As you grow older you realize that more than planning; preparation and positioning yourself well is more important. With planning you expect things will execute in order while preparation is based on the expectation of chaos. For example, try to be prepared and well-positioned by having an emergency fund, implementing small changes daily, and making decisions with a long-term mindset, instead of asking how to be happy consider what makes you unhappy and avoid those factors, etc.

This reminds me of a quote from Mike Tyson, one of the greatest boxers of all time - “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”. It means unexpected events can disrupt even the best-laid plans.

Life isn't about having a meticulously planned roadmap. In fact, some of the most beautiful and transformative experiences happen when we let go of rigid expectations or understand the limitations of over-planning. Instead of increasing your anxiety, allow yourself to be comfortable with not knowing everything. Your worth isn't determined by how perfectly you've planned everything but by your ability to adapt, learn, and grow.

Steve Jobs famously said in his 2005 commencement address at Stanford University, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward”. This means that we can't fully understand how different experiences in life will fit together until we look back at them later, so it's okay not to plan too much and embrace the unknown while taking steps towards what interests you.

You cannot plan your future to date. But you can plan your actions today which create your future. Focus on the actions in the present and let the future take care of itself (easier said than done). In other words by Rumi, a famous Persian poet from the 12th century, “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears”.

A 3-year-old who wanted to become an astronaut could dream of becoming a musician at 12 and become an investment banker at 21. What we want from life changes as time passes. Uncertainty can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and self-understanding. We can’t always control our external circumstances.

If a random YouTube video could trigger a thought to write an article on a topic not at all planned, how can I say that I have life planned or figured out at 31 - but that's okay. It’s about enjoying the ride, embracing randomness, and being spontaneous. I’m sure we won’t regret our final story.

Occasionally, to find something in life we need to stop looking for it.

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans," - famously used by John Lennon from the Beatles music group

-Sid